Marriage
July 12, 2007 |  61 comments
The real turn-off is a lack of marriageable men
The other day, I was giving a lift to a group of 14-year-old girls and, as we waited at the traffic lights, I became dimly aware of something remarkable about their conversation. They were all bright sparks, in the process of being coached up by their schools to become captains of industry, Members of Parliament and all the rest of it.
But as I inclined my ear, I realised that they weren't discussing their dotcoms; they weren't preparing for the time when they would be joining each other on the pages of Fortune magazine or Business Week.
No, they were discussing marriage. They were planning their wedding days, down to the last sugared almond and the exact cut of their dresses. Not only were they consulting a magazine called Brides, these 14-year-olds, but they had a special supplement of Brides, featuring a hunk in morning dress.
The name of the supplement was Groom, and as I looked at Groom magazine, I noticed a key but symbolic detail: it was considerably thinner than Brides. Brides was massive - about 250 glossy pages, dripping with advertisements and panting with advice - whereas Groom was a thoroughly laconic affair about 10 pages long; and, as I listened to their chatter, I suddenly became all sentimental, and thought how touching it was that young girls should care so deeply about their distant nuptials; and I tried to remember whether I, as a 14-year-old, had given the slightest thought to marriage, or what kind of pearl tie-pin I would use on the great day, and of course the answer is no. Continue reading "Marriage"
Nicolas Sarkozy
July 5, 2007 | 64 comments
the very act of le jogging - or le running as it is now more fashionable to call it - is a cultural humiliation
the Sarkozy jog is in conformity with the principles of the French Revolution, and the equality and brotherhood of man.
Bravo, Sarkozy - from one jogger to another
There are some people I know who are not so keen on Nicolas Sarkozy, the new President of France. Some prudes have been dismayed by the way he turned up at a press conference in a state of apparent alcoholic intoxication. Some think it a bit off that he tried to grab the steering wheel at the recent European summit, and change the fundamental principles of the EU Treaty.
Some people find him altogether too Tiggerish and bumptious. I have, I confess, been so far in a state of glorious detachment on the Sarkozy issue - until yesterday morning, when I read that he was once again under attack from the French intellectuals, and I found my sword leaping from its scabbard in his defence.
In the cafés of the Left Bank, they have fastened on what they regard as the single most objectionable and Right-wing aspect of the Sarkozy agenda - and what do you think it is? Do they object to his views on immigration? Are they worried about his plans to make French universities more competitive? Continue reading "Nicolas Sarkozy"
Goodbye to Blair
June 28, 2007 | 84 comments
I am really feeling quite chipper about the political extinction of Tony Blair
...a gloomy Scotch mist has descended on Westminster...
I rejoiced - and then Brown began to speak
You know what, I decided about lunchtime yesterday that I couldn't take any more. The whole thing was turning into a blubfest of nauseating proportions. First we had the Pyongyang-style standing ovation, in which hundreds of hypocritical parliamentarians clapped their hands sore in celebration of Tony Blair - when a great many of them have spent the past 10 years actively trying to winkle him out of Downing Street, a group that includes many on his own side, and above all his successor.
Then poor Margaret Beckett was so overwhelmed that she started to weep, and had to be "comforted" by John Reid, a procedure that is surely enough to make anyone snap out of it. And then we had the cavalcade moving off to the Palace, and what with the hushed tones of the newscasters and the thudding of the television helicopters overhead, the whole thing started to remind me of Diana's funeral.
"It has been a very emotional day," said Sky News's Adam Boulton. "I have seen some incredible things today, things I never thought I would see." What were these incredible things? "I have seen the Blairs' exercise bicycle removed from Number 10," groaned the honest fellow; and across Britain one imagined the Sky audience returning their sodden handkerchiefs to their eyes as they were racked with fresh bouts of sobbing. The exercise bicycle! The Prime Ministerial exercise bicycle! Never more to be used in Downing Street again! Woe, woe and thrice woe!
Even among the cynical brainboxes who sit here in the shadow ministry for higher education, I noticed a certain oohing and aahing, and so you will understand that I was seized with a desire to puncture the mood. Enough, I thought, of this glutinous sentimentality, and prepared to denounce the entire proceedings as a fraud.
Continue reading "Goodbye to Blair"
#Gordon Brown
June 21, 2007 | 80 comments
This post, made by Boris Johnson's Office, is filed under the articles category. Currently with eighty comments, the post is archived here.
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The British public ... were at no stage invited to vote on whether Gordon Brown should be PM.
I don't remember any Labour spokesman revealing that they planned to do a big switcheroo after only two years.
..a transition about as democratically proper as the transition from Claudius to Nero.
Brown's looking for a Scottish ally
It's the arrogance. It's the contempt. That's what gets me. It's Gordon Brown's apparent belief that he can just trample on the democratic will of the British people. It's at moments like this that I think the political world has gone mad, and I am alone in detecting the gigantic fraud.
Everybody seems to have forgotten that the last general election was only two years ago, in 2005. A man called Tony Blair presented himself for re-election, and his face was to be seen - even if less prominently than in the past - on manifestos, leaflets, television screens and billboards. We rather gathered from the Labour prospectus that said Blair was going to be Prime Minister. Indeed, Tony sought a new mandate from the British electorate with the explicit promise that he would serve a full term.
The British public sucked its teeth, squinted at him closely, sighed and, with extreme reluctance, decided to elect him Prime Minister for another five years. Let me repeat that. They voted for Anthony Charles Lynton Blair to serve as their leader. They were at no stage invited to vote on whether Gordon Brown should be PM. Continue reading "#Gordon Brown"
Happy Birthday Boris 2007
June 19, 2007 | 25 comments
Illustrissime Boris ultimus Romanorum floreas natali die tuo semperque futuro. Not everyone has the cojones to endorse a political candidate during the selection process. But you came through last year with a superb message of support, which had everyone who read it in hysterics. Hard not to win with friends like that. Thank you, my best as ever and Happy Birthday, Jesse.
Virginia Satir said: "Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family." Boris has nurtured an on-line family of people passionate about the world they live in. Through this blog he gives everyone a voice and we wish him a most happy birthday. You're the best Boris!
#Tony Blair and the Media
June 14, 2007 | 176 comments
it is the height of stupidity, on Blair's part, to think that it might be an idea to start regulating the blogosphere
I would much rather have cyberspace regulated by public scorn than by Tony Blair
God save the media
Oh for heaven's sake, can someone please tiptoe up behind our poor prating ex-Prime Minister to be and tell him that the show is over? Come on, Cherie, Alastair, Peter - whoever still composes the depleted Praetorian Guard - tell the old boy to put a sock in it before he does himself a serious embarrassment.
I think it would be fair to say that we have heard some self-serving twaddle from Tony Blair in the past 10 years, and yet his "I blame the media" speech was not only hypocritical and sinister: it was downright insulting to the intelligence of the British public. Continue reading "#Tony Blair and the Media"
British Drinks Industry
June 7, 2007 | 67 comments
Who thought of health warnings on wine?
And there I was - all set to blame Brussels. As soon as I heard there was some loony plan to put health warnings on wine bottles, my Eurosceptic aero engines began to rev and whirr.
I knew where the culprits must be, and the all-purpose vertical take-off Euro-rant began to throb on the launching pad. Could they really be serious?
Were we really going to have labels on wine bottles, warning the consumer that the contents might make him drunk? It was insane, and there was only one type of bureaucrat - or so I instinctively thought - who would dare to promote such lunacy.
As I prepared my continental bombing raid, I could see my target in my imagination.
That's right: it was some Swedish divorcee health commissioner, sitting in her velour slacks in her taupe-coloured office in the Breydel building, Brussels; and I could just imagine the imperious set of her jaw as she put down her glass of Badoit and prepared to Mont Blanc her initials under the EU edict that alcohol was henceforward to be clearly labelled as a poison; and in my rage I reached for another lunchtime glass of Mazis-Chambertin 2000, to fortify myself for the rigours of composing my column, and I can tell you that it was with all bomb bays fully loaded that I arrived at my desk; and I was on the very point of launching the great Brussels-busting task force when I paused.
Continue reading "British Drinks Industry"
Birmingham University Conservative Future Blog Award
June 5, 2007 | 6 comments
First class honours to the Conservative Future group at the University of Birmingham. Their blog www.bucf.wordpress.com has earned them accolades in the highest places.
Iain Dale no less, himself shortlisted for the Guardian's political blog of the year award, has named these Brumdergrads the best Young Conservative bloggers on the web.
Similar laurels were awarded by the Tory grassroots website Conservativehome.com.
Dive straight in to a pool of well-written and perceptive commentary on subjects ranging from the "ridiculous" Olympic logo to army recruitment, Cameron on grammar schools, gay rights, anti-terrorist powers, abortion, overcrowded prisons... plus some hilarious YouTube links.
Congrats to you all for showing that independent, progressive thought is still flourishing in our universities.
So what's their secret? Ryan Castle, BUCF's Treasurer, says:
We endeavour to produce at least one new blog each day, a little less successfully in exam periods! Our main strength is our variety; we have many strong contributors each with very different political interests. This means that you will always find a huge plethora of subjects being commented on.
We are trying to re-engage students with politics and convince them of a Conservative viewpoint. The direction the party is going under Cameron is right for this. His liberal agenda - reflected in our own chairman's views- is at last allowing us to present a modern and dynamic party both locally with students and nationally.
Life in the Fast Lane: The Johnson Guide to Cars
June 4, 2007 | 24 comments
Order this new book from Amazon now!
My love affair with the car will never conk out
They have been demonised and are portrayed as a threat to the planet but, says self-confessed speed-freak Boris Johnson, cars are a force for liberty and democracy
For years after that terrible death, I felt a pang every time I pulled into Oxford station.
Boris Johnson: 'An Englishman's car used to be his castle, or at least his mobile fort'
There was the scrapyard. There was the grabber with its evil jaws. Whenever I saw it I remembered the T-Rex aggression with which it lurched down on its victim; pausing and juddering as though savouring the moment.
It smashed through the windows, the windscreen, buckling the paper-thin steel. I heard the whine of the crusher and I turned away.
I could not listen to the death agonies of my driving companion, or see the reproachful look in those loyal headlights. Even today I cannot go past that knacker's yard without bidding peace to its ghost.
A Fiat 128 two-door saloon, 1.2 litres, the Italian Stallion was the trusty steed that emancipated me from the shackles of childhood.
Inside that happy brown plastic cabin, with its curious fungal growth on the roof, there took place all manner of brawls, romance, heartbreak and general growing-up. Above all, it was the car in which I had my first crash.
No one knew how it came to be in the family. My mother claims it was hers, though other sources suggest that my father bought it in Brussels, from a squash opponent called Sue.
It was sitting in the yard one day when my brother Leo and I decided to take it for a ride. Neither of us could drive, but there is a two-mile dirt track that links our farm to the main road, and we felt we could learn.
We lolloped off, groaning in first gear, until finally we reached the main road where the machine stalled and a cloud of steam rose from the bonnet. We had a problem.
We had to turn round, and we couldn't go on the metalled road, since neither of us had a licence.
But we hadn't done a turn before and we were aware of another car about 20 yards away.
This obstacle was probably the only other vehicle within five square miles of this bit of under-populated moorland.
With every manoeuvre, we seemed to arc ever closer to the other machine, as if sucked by some fatal magnet. Now our boot was just feet from its bonnet, and it was necessary to reverse.
I had never reversed a car before. The wheels spun in the dust, we shot backwards and, with a smooth easy grace, we shunted the only other car in the district rapidly and deftly into a tree.
When the tinkling had stopped, Leo broke the silence and said: ''Hey, that was great,'' speaking for every human being who has ever experienced the thrill of the automobile - the joy of moving far faster than nature intended, by a process you barely understand, and yet somehow surviving. Continue reading "Life in the Fast Lane: The Johnson Guide to Cars"
The pursuit of happiness
May 25, 2007 | 105 comments
The Spectator - Boris Johnson
You've got to realise they would have done it. They would have gone right ahead and swept another priceless heirloom from the mantelpiece of history. They were revving up their bulldozers, ready to roar into the ancient and irreplaceable ecosystem. Another great tree would have been felled in the forest of knowledge, and the owl of Minerva would have fled in terror from her roost. Had it not been for a few romantic reactionaries, then the technicians who run our reductionist system of education -- with the complaisance of the Labour government -- would by now be halfway to the demolition of the ancient history A-Level.
The children of tomorrow, children less fortunate than our own, would have been deprived forever of the chance to get to grips with the emergence of Athenian democracy, or the transition of Rome from republic to empire, and future generations of 18-year-olds would never again have spent any time in systematic study of the events and personalities that have been programmatic of our modern European politics and civilisation.
When a new Dark Age falls, it is not always to the sound of Viking battle-cries and the tinkling of church windows. Sometimes it is the very governments themselves that go mad, and start disembowelling their own culture. If you inquire whimperingly how they can do it, how the 'department for education and science' could have allowed this mutilation even to be proposed, the answer is not just that they are barbarians, though that is certainly part of the problem. Continue reading "The pursuit of happiness"
Murder of Alexander Litvinenko
May 24, 2007 | 24 comments
It was murder, but calling it such will change nothing
The tension mounts. The crisis deepens. The Russian ambassador has been summoned to the Foreign Office for the truly nail-biting experience of a dressing-down from Margaret Beckett. After four months of indolence, the moth-eaten British lion has finally woken up and emitted a roar in the direction of Moscow. Scotland Yard long ago decided that one man was responsible for the horrific murder of Alexander Litvinenko, a British citizen living in London. The Crown Prosecution Service has now agreed.
One name is in the frame, and across Middle England, the cry is the same. "Oi! Putin!" says the voice of Britain. "Give us Lugovoi!" And that, more or less, was the message conveyed to the Kremlin by the Foreign Office yesterday - and seldom can there have been a suspect more deserving of extradition.
Everything about the murder of Litvinenko seemed designed to stoke our indignation. It was all so callous, so blatant, so deliberately chilling.
Continue reading "Murder of Alexander Litvinenko"
Exeter University
May 23, 2007 | 8 comments
Press Release
Boris Johnson MP
Statement in response to the current press coverage on the code of conduct introduced by the Athletic Union at Exeter University -
'Of course we have every sympathy with the victim and his family but if we endlessly respond to tragic events with panic measures we will end up becoming risk-averse and over-regulated'.
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